The Great Indian Kitchen in Our Homes

At last, Here comes an Indian (The Great Indian Kitchen) movie that rips apart the great Indian family structures and portrays the true colours of the so-called beautiful, long-lasting and ever happy Indian families.

Movies have always been the strongest medium that can influence many. Any number of writing, especially on this particular topic will not have the same impact as a movie can have on its audience. This movie that is close to my thoughts, brought a bit of solace and relief to my aching heart.

Looking forward to a big change that this movie can bring in the lives of many women and mindsets of at least a few men, a big, warm hug to you Jeo baby!! 

Science and religion being are the age old enemies, The director chose to start the movie with the frame, “Thanks science”.

Yes, It’s a Malayalam movie, But one hardly needs any subtitles for this one! There are just a couple of scenes where one would definitely need subtitles to get the crux of it, the right way!

Apart from that, what the director wanted to convey is all over the screen for you to see and understand. The language and the nativity is definitely not the obvious barrier!

What I see as barriers for poor understanding of the movie are male ego, the age-old conditioned brains to patriarchy, lack of empathy and concern towards women, utter denial to see the reality and ofcourse the male privilege one enjoys. I know, you should be wondering that by quoting the above all barriers, I only targeted a specific gender and have been partial to the rest of them.

Again, there might be many women who understand the movie but deny to agree to all that is shown on the screen which again goes back to how women are tuned to dance to the notes of patriarchy! I am sorry, I still empathise with them but can’t go against them!

Getting back to the movie, the I fell in love with the background song during the titles. The lyrics, the tune and the feel of it.

Once you start watching the movie, you might want to forward it to speed up the process of viewing. Coz, the same routine and boring visual of either chopping the veggies or cooking food or doing the dishes or mopping the floor or serving the food keeps popping up.  Don’t dare to do that as you would end up with the same scene again. Rather, just feel happy that you sometimes get to find a different woman doing the same chores, be it the mother in law or the maid or the daughter in law or an aunt. The chores remain the same and thus the way and the order they do them. Occasionally,  maybe to appeal to your eye, you get to find a different household all together only to repeat the same chores again! Though you might feel the pace of the movie slow and boring, Please hold on!

I would like to quote something my husband said that night after retiring to bed: “How tiresome and irritating it should be to do all those chores, if it was tiresome, boring and disgusting to just watch!” 

Early in the mornings, the men in the family stay busy reading newspapers or browsing their phones or doing yoga sessions and sometimes relaxing too. While the women of the household keep messing up the kitchen and breaking their backs to cook just the breakfast. And then, serve hot dosas from pan to plate to the men of the family and wait by their side till they finish eating. I wondered if these women were ever hungry or ever ate to their content or ever cooked any favourite dish of theirs?

You get to see women sitting to eat the food they cooked themselves, only once, that too establish the ritual they follow at that house. Sitting together, eating together or eating what they cooked themselves is something you can’t find all through the movie!

Men in the family are very particular about hand ground chutney, rice cooked on the fire, not eating refrigerated food or eating outside(when needed) and even about washing clothes only by hand. And yes, the women in the family burn a few more hours and calories of theirs to make these men’s needs meet. I wonder why all this doesn’t come under domestic violence? 

And yeah, if someone out there says I am not as rude as it is shown in the movie, I ask you to check your statement once again. If not as rude as they are, how rude are you? 50%, 20%, 10% or 5% and does that certify you to be humane?

An unfixed leaking sink stands out all through the movie, just to make sure how women, their efforts and comforts are taken for granted and completely not considered at all. I deliberately didn’t use the words ignored or neglected coz, to ignore or neglect one should first recognise them right??

The elderly man takes pride in quoting that his wife despite being a postgraduate ended up in kitchen cooking for them all her life. And his pride remains the takeaway for that poor lady. Have you ever wondered that despite giving an opportunity to study, to work and be what she wants, a woman still remains a poor performer? Isn’t it a pain to know that it’s not just that, women are denied education and independent thinking.

Women are cleverly looted of their qualitative time, their energies, abilities and intuitions. Ultimately, containing and limiting them to kitchens and households. So that their caliber remains unfolded! Their talents, unseen! And only their cooking and house maintenance capabilities are seen and appreciated and are sought after. Women fall a trap to this and keep trying to prove themselves in those limited areas. Where in the world do they have the time to unravel their hidden talents with all this nonsense happening in their lives? 

Ask a woman about his male partner and you will completely get a contrary image to the image you have in mind or his public image. Of course, only if she is good enough to be open and honest!  Who falls a victim to his unmasked and ungroomed behaviour and mindset at home?

Starting from his table manners to his other daily practices, one comes to know what kind of a man he is, only from his wife/partner. However good or noble a man is, however progressive or liberated his talks are to the outside world, his true, naked, ungroomed uncivilised self is unravelled when with his woman. This particular trait of men has been touched upon precisely, yet powerfully. 

Sexual pleasure and sexual interests of a woman are the least considered. A woman who speaks up how she likes it or how she wants it gets to be seen sluttish. She is expected to bear the pain if any and let the man get the pleasure he wants! A woman claiming pain during an act of intercourse is rarely heard! How many of the women reading this could relate to these words, “wait, am almost done!” and your pain turns out to be the pleasure of that fucking partner(apt usage of words, right?) of yours! Or, how many of you can relate to an experience where you are still not ready for it or don’t want it yet, and your partner is eager to penetrate just because he cannot contain it anymore or cannot maintain it anymore?

Marital rape is such an under noticed or underrated abuse coz, none of the partners consider it rape. Convincing for sex, sex even if not interested or just laying our bodies passively for sex don’t come under rape right? Yeah!!

“Oh! So, you know what foreplay is!” The husband’s shocked and humiliated for a fraction of second! 

Later gets hold of his dominance and backlashes at her with a sort of vengeance. 

“for me to do the foreplay, I should feel like doing it with you”. 

Those few words would come whipping onto every woman’s mind and body shattering the world she lived till then.

Withstanding and moving on with the same partner might seem tough and impossible for some but, she still stays intact, only to unravel the pre climax bang for us. The tiny girl in me jumped up high and danced to it. One should watch that to experience that awe. And yeah the reality hits in again when the story ends with where it all started! Another girl falling prey to the same guy in the same way, close to the reality.

With each and every scene is well thought of and well conceived, this movie remains my all time favourite. 
And yes, has he not touched upon the menstruation and the Sabarimala issue, this movie couldn’t have impressed me so much. 

How blind religion and belief can make a person?

How faith and customs become more important than humanity and compassion?

How inhumane one can be to just follow the rituals that make no sense? 

A scene where the Ayyappa devotee has a bike with his wife running to him to help him get up is one of those many slaps on our blind belief system shown in the movie.

Just because, he touched upon the Sabarimala issue did the major OTT platforms Netflix and Amozon Prime reject the movie. That shows the director’s unwavering will and commitment not to deviate from what he wanted to show. Hat’s off to Jeo baby for that.

And yeah! Am just wondering What’s there that he did not touch upon in those 100 min?

The unpaid labour of every woman in the household?
Glorification of mundane domestic work?
Women having to take pride in sacrifices?
The obvious privilege that men  enjoy by conveniently ignoring it?
How do men control women’s interests and their movements without even being resisted or rejected?
Women having to blindly obey the male dominance and gratifying male ego ?
Women having to be sorry for what they are and how they look?
Women’s sexual interests denied and considered sluttish?
Customs related to menstruation?
Controversy of women entering Sabarimala?
Marital rape?
Role of social media in empowering and belittling a woman in its own ways?
So on and so forth….

One big take-away of the movie is that women are the binding elements of Indian families. Yes!

Earlier, I used to get angry when someone says that. Now, I have come terms with that. 
Yes, women are the binding elements of Indian families and their all other relations. Coz, they adjust, they sacrifice, they serve, they obey, they follow, they submit, they adapt and finally they succumb.

Yes, without women doing so much, I bet no Indian family or relation could actually remain intact. Once a woman stops doing all or some or at least one of the above…then, show me how beautiful and long lasting Indian families can be. 

Show me an Indian family that stays intact, happy, everlasting and lovely with the women in those families leading lives just like their male counterparts. Till then, Please don’t claim Indian family systems to be beautiful. 

These systems are just boss-servant relationships. Not families!!

And I wish no woman anymore, succumbs to those subservient systems!! 

The irony here is: An woman can either choose her freedom/herself or marriage/relation!! not both!!

An woman can either be in a compromised relation or can be herself all alone.

While your male counterparts enjoy both, relation and freedom at the same time.

Watch Trailer of The Great Indian Kitchen Movie:

The film is now playing on Neestream OTT Platform.